The extent of Apathy in Singapore
Yesterday, I was at the Speakers corner, with around 50 other people of whom at least 20 are activists. When Tan Kin Lian (http://theonlinecitizen.com/2008/12/toc-celebrates-its-2nd-year-anniversary/) ( http://www.sgpolitics.net/?p=1482) spoke, it started to drizzle and rain. People started taking out their umbrellas , but the speaker was still speaking in the rain. You could tell many people thought someone should go shelter him, me included. But everyone was looking around at others, and asking the people they were with if they should go up, me included. And then, people started to run to one another discussing about whether to shelter the speaker. After a good 5 minutes at least, someone finally went up to shelter him, after having a commitee meeting.
I was thinking, gosh! in Singapore, people need to have a committee meeting and conference before they can stand up to offer someon in need an umbrella!?!?!? How sad is that??!? And I was totally guilty myself. I had not dared to go up, too afraid to walk out of crowd onto the stage to shelter him with my umbrella
At that point, I made a commitment to myself, to never do that again. Never to standby doing nothing while watching someone in need.
And so today, I went for this talk where there were a panel of speakers, one of whom was blind. And everyone had water. The moderator put the bottle of water in his hands because he couldn’t see it. Then as she was speaking, he was struggling to open it cos he couldn’t see the seal break. He struggled until he gave up and put the bottle down. And everyone, most of whom are activists, were just watching and waiting.
I took another bottle, opened it, walked up and gave it to him.
I know this is an incredibly small thing. An almost nothing. Something anyone could easily do.
But i’m actually really proud of myself, in a way that i haven’t been for a long long long time. I don’t think i ever felt like this after scoring any amounts of As in the exam
And I really really hope that everybody would make that same commitment.
The commitment to stop waiting for other’s approval or even support, the commitment to just stand up immediately to do what is right. The commitment to never standby when someone is in need.
Because a nation which cannot even offer someone in the rain an umbrella without a committee meeting is a nation which can never help itself or others.
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I would like to applaud you for getting out of the shell to help the blind speaker. It is simple gestures like this that will make our society of better place.
I like to believe there are many present who would like to do what you did. But what is stopping them is the fear of embarassment as they think the spotlight is on them. Singaporeans are generally not comfortable when the attention is focused on them.
If it is so, then there is hope. As more of us can overcome this discomfort, it would encourage others to step forward to lend a helping hand too.
On the other hand, if it is because of a “bo-chap” attitude, then I fear for our society.
Thanks Yamsam!
Yes, I totally agree with you that we are culturally conditioned to fear the spotlight ( it certainly is for me!!)
Cos the people that were there were people who cared. Many were people who cared enough to give up so much of their life and reputation in support of neglected causes; they certainly were not bo-chap people.
To be honest, I actually meet very few bo-chap people. Most people SEEM bo-chap because they feel helpless, they feel that nothing they do will make an impact. They want to do something, but only if someone shows them an effective way. I suppose the solution for this is for anyone who has a solution to speak up and share with everyone his/her idea. It’s ok if you don’t think its a fantastic idea, because no matter how fantastic ideas are, there’ll be some who agree and some who don’t anyway. But for those who agree, your idea will bring us one step closer.
I realised these few days many activists started of as the “bo-chap”/helpless/ignorant people.
But the moment you realise what’s going on, there’s almost no turning back. Its like you can’t live with yourself knowing you’re doing nothing.
Then the next step would be to overcome that fears and apprehension and take that step forward.
How do we overcome our fears?
Honestly, I don’t really know.
For some, its a family/friend in trouble that propels them to do something
For others, its religion that gives them a reason and incentive to do something.
There are many different ways I suppose. I’m with a public-speaking club called Toastmasters. The club has no experts, but are filled with people who support and give feedback to each other to help each to other to 1. speak better 2. speak inspite of your fear
And I met many who are doing just that, and the attitude shows up in all aspects of their lives, not just with public-speaking.
( Toastmasters is a non-profit organisation made up of 100+ individual clubs in Singapore, that are run by the members of the groups themselves.
The membership fees cover the cost of operation, so it ranges from extremely cheap (those that are based in Community centers for eg.), to those that are really expensive (those that are based in the “high class” clubs for example)
List of clubs near you : http://home.pacific.net.sg/~august/hoplist.html
For more info, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toastmasters_International)
Hi ,
I believe the reasons for apathy lies deeply in:
1. the people are have never experienced other ways of living and other kinds of mentality. Change will be tough unless our youths hold themselves responsible also.
Coz we Singaporeans were brought up to think “I am #1″. All other matters little. Do read LKY’s memoirs and you’ll understand he doesn’t think kindly of people who cannot make it.
I’m glad you thought otherwise.
Kaffein
Good on you! If more take that step forward like you have, we might have that “gracious society” after all. ;p
While I agree that Singaporeans tend to be apathetic, I’m not sure these examples you cite count as apathy though. And neither, I think, are they a result of the selfish mentality Kaffein speaks about. There is a subtle difference between not giving up your seat in the MRT when an old lady is infront of you (being selfish) and not going up on stage to help because of the fear of “the spotlight”.
But, either way, overcoming these and doing what you did is a good step forward!
[...] in musings tagged apathy, helping people at 3:43 pm by itisanillusion Found this article today, it is a very short article but it is deeply meaningful to me. How many times have I [...]
I think one step forward will be to stop looking towards other people to change. Stop looking for the “youths” to be responsible, stop looking for “Singaporeans” who are selfish…. often times we know something has to be done, but we want to wait for someone else to do it — the government, the people in charge, the charity groups, the youths, or simply, someone other than us.
Let’s forget about other people, and make the issue about our ownselves. Let’s make the pledge “I will not standby and do nothing while someone suffers”
Let’s make it about ME.
As Mahatma Ghandi says “Be the change you want to see in the world”
[...] on 6 Dec – Wayang Party: “Caveat emptor”: an easy way out for MAS and the FIs? – Mathia Lee: The extent of Apathy in Singapore – Tan Kin Lian’s Blog: Election into public [...]
Ur article got Todayed. I hope they paid u.
10th Dec Today Edition. =D
Hahha no they didn’t.
Actually i didn’t even know they Todayed me! Was having lunch, flipping through the paper, then, OMG!!!! I nearly fainted.
[...] 11, 2008 · No Comments Read this post by a fellow blogger which was published in yesterday’s TODAY newspaper:- Yesterday, I was at the Speakers corner, [...]
Hi there. I guess I should thank TODAY for publishing your article or I won’t know of this blog.
I just want to say that your particular article has reasonated with me so strongly because you nailed it there and then when you brought up the point of the commitment to stop waiting for other’s approval or even support.
I was brought up in an environment, home & school, where the strong sublimal message was to get the approval of others in order to be successful and move along in life.
Now in my adulthood, at a point when I find myself at a crossroad on a personal level, I find myself trepidating with fear. Simply because of the ‘fear’ that we’ve been taught to hold to so tightly and the subconscious need to seek approval in all that I do.
I am not as civic-minded where I will demonstrate this in the public. But I realise if I can’t get get past the fear on the personal level, there is no way I can do the same like what you did for others.
So thank you for writing this. And I agree with you on Gandhi’s words “Be the change you want to see in the world”.
I think some ppl are apathetic, but some will get up and do things. It depends on the causes. I came across this:
http://dotseng.wordpress.com/2008/11/07/the-day-parents-say-no-to-child-abuse/
I have been circulating it around.
Thanks Mrs Obama, for highlighting the important issue of child abuse.
I have responded to that blog article, and here is my reproduction of it:
Hi, I totally agree with your condemnation of child abuse, and i’m glad that you see one of the reasons why : that parents are imperfect, and they can act this way as an outlet for their own stress. I think in dealing with child abuse, intervention to stop the abuse is important as an immediate measure. In stopping child abuse in the long term however, we have to go beyond demonising the parents, but instead, deal with their hurts and issues, because child abuse tends to be a symptom.
I cannot agree with your stand on homosexuality however, because your statement “; if the audience are consenting adults who have the maturity to make an informed decision; but where it relates to kiddies; I don’t believe they have that power of discernment. For one all their thumbdrives are at zero so they ALL deserve a right of passage into adulthood without having to deal with these issues; they don’t need to be confused by gay teachers. ” implies that sexual orientation is a lifestyle choice — but it isn’t. Rather it is inborn. Many homosexual people who LOVE to change if they could because there are so much societal repercussions and pressures — if it were a choice, what a bad choice! But the fact is that we have as much choice over our orientation as we do over our race, and blaming people for their “choice” makes them feel bad unnecessarily. Just question yourself, can you be a homosexual if you choose to? Is heterosexuality a CHOICE that you are making? Or are you attracted to the opposite sex as part of your nature?
http://street71.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/where-is-the-human-being-in-singapore/
There’s a alternative view on ur article. Do check it out. =D
And u r indeed getting more famous…
Thanks for your comment and for highlighting that article. I totally agree with it, there’s so much more to our behavior than we think, and i’m glad people are thinking. That’s a marvelous step forward, and that hopefully leads to the next marvelous step of taking action….
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