Who’s at fault?
Fascinating case — who’s at fault here?
Man cheats workers here, man blackmails workers here. In order to stop being blackmailed, workers run away. But before they run away, they tie the man up to prevent him from calling the police. If the police gets them, they will be jailed & caned for being illegal immigrants, even though they were cheated by that man.
The next day (3rd day of being tied up) she goes to his flat, but realises she forgot her keys. She leaves after no one answers the door. The next day she returns with the keys, to find his body.
Weekend • May 30, 2009 by Ong Dai Lin (dailin@mediacorp.com.sg)
Why do women discriminate against women in developed countries?
I can understand why people in less developed countries hold ultra conservative views — it’s the trap of the culture, it’s the lack of opportunities to be exposed to progressive thought and education.
But I really don’t understand how WOMEN in countries like the US can support a stand to discriminate against women based on ultra conservative religious views.
http://www.cwfa.org/articledisplay.asp?id=1971&department=CWA&categoryid=nation
“Proponents of comparable worth say legislation is necessary to ensure equalization of wages. Feminists claim that a woman earns only 76 cents for every dollar a man earns. Yet that figure is skewed because it does not take into account job choice, position, age, experience, education and consecutive years in the work force. Using all women in their calculations distorts the statistics. Also, children change the earning equation—many women prefer to put their child’s best interest first and take a cut in hours to invest time in their families.”
This for example.
Can you tell if it’s supposed to be a feminist or anti-feminist argument?
Just a random thought of the day.
Child Sex Predation in Singapore & the need for CSE
I think our teacher molested us, over a period of 2 years, more than a decade ago when we were in Sec 3. We were a girls’ school, we didn’t know what to do about it then. Even now, I am not going to name any names, because I don’t want to have to defend myself in court. By naming names, they would have the right to sue me and summon me to court to substantiate my claims. I still don’t really know for sure if this was molest, I’ll just tell our story as it happened, and you be the judge.
My Story
We were an all girls’ school. The teacher taught us one of the Pure Science subjects in upper secondary for both years. He was a very engaging and interesting teacher, and so his students often did well because it was so easy to understand and enjoy his lessons.
As part of the practical (laboratory) lessons, we had to look down microscopes and perform dissections on flowers etc. The teacher would walk around the lab to check on us and make sure we were doing things the right way.
When he saw that a girl needed help, or if he needed to point out something about the way she did her experiment, he would stand behind her and stick his arm through the space between her body and her arm in order to guide her through the dissection/microscopy etc (seen the movie Ghost? Remember the pottery session? ). Back then, we sat on those high lab wooden stools, and our arms would be outstretched because they were busy doing the experiment on the table. As he stuck his hand through that very narrow gap, it would conveniently and unfailingly brush against her body.
After a few times of having these accidental brushes against my breasts, I learnt to do my experiments with my arms glued tightly to the sides of my body. Whenever I saw him coming, I’ll make sure I stood or moved aside, so that he had to stand beside me, and not behind me. But sometimes, I was so engrossed in the experiment, I forgot.
Another thing he liked to do was to share seats with students, especially the girls sitting along the middle aisle, and I was one of those girls. Those lab wooden stools were really small, the diameter of my 13-inch laptop. But because we had to lean forward to do the experiment, we often unconsciously sat on the edge of our stool — but the small size meant our butts took up half the stool. The teacher would be walking around, and then he would decide to share the seat with one of the girls sitting that way. The small size of the stool meant lots of body contact. But because everyone was sitting and paying attention, we felt very uncomfortable being the only one standing up.
After a few times of sharing my seat. I learnt to sit on my entire stool seat completely, lean forward and do my experiments with my arms glued to the sides of my body.
Because the lab was so huge, and because he liked doing demonstrations of experiments, he would often ask the entire class of 40 to crowd round the teacher’s bench at the front. After the demo, he would walk through the crowd with his hands outstretched to “push” his way through the crowd.
After a few times of having his hands “push” against my breasts (I don’t know how he can aim so accurately, not just once, but a few times! ) I learnt to fold my arms across my chest and make a lot of room for him the moment he looked like he was finishing with the demo.
The difficulty of reporting him – we were scared and confused
It was these sort of small things. Was it molest?
We talked about it amongst ourselves, even until today, more than 10 years later. We realized that not all, but only a handful of girls experienced this, but often, these girls experienced it repeatedly.
Back then, we spent so much time thinking of what we should/could do. He was a teacher of many many years, very well reputed, and popular amongst many previous batches of students. He was a figure of authority in the education field, and today, he still remains so. We were his last batch of students before he retired. We didn’t know if anyone would believe us at all. We were afraid of what the consequence might be if we were not believed. What if he found out we were trying to do something? We were an elite girls’ school, and we all wanted to move on to elite JCs, we didn’t dare to risk our grades and chances.
We also didn’t know if what he did could be considered molest, even though all of us affected ones were clearly disturbed by his actions. We didn’t want to be seen as ruining his reputation with some unfounded fears. So we continued to discuss what we ought to do.
Then one day, we heard that some girls from another class were going to report him, but that he got wind of it, and he scolded them severely. That confused us further. By the time we graduated, we had not come to a decision about what to do.
Years later, we one day read in the newspapers that he was charged with molesting a girl he was giving private tuition to. He was convicted for one year, a jail term which he served. None of us were surprised. Yet, today, he remains an authoritative figure in the field.
Why am I telling my story?
Because I need to tell you that these things happen in our schools and go unreported. And that it isn’t so simple and straight forward. The Instructors’ guide lists no such thing, but I always addressed sexual abuse in my classes. I wonder if any other educator does so, because I don’t have that chance to now.
Because some systems are so conducive for sexual abuse. Today I read about how thousands of Irish children were sexually abused. When the numbers go to thousands, you start examining the system rather than the criminal alone.
http://www.independent.ie/national-news/state-of-shame-1746476.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8060442.stm
Because sex predators in Singapore can get away with it. Just 3 days ago I read this about Singapore
http://news.asiaone.com/News/The%2BNew%2BPaper/Story/A1Story20090518-142150.html
“HE WAS arrested for performing oral sex on a 6-year-old boy in a library toilet. After Chan Kok Weng, 29, was charged for the offence, he was sent for a psychiatric assessment. And that was when he made an explosive confession – he had been preying on young boys for about 15 years. Chan told Dr Stephen Phang, senior consultant psychiatrist at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH), that he had been a sexual predator since he was in Secondary Two. He would seek out primary schoolboys at public places and perform oral sex on them.Chan revealed to Dr Phang: ‘(I) always target young boys, less than 10 years old or 11 years old because it’s the easiest target. Most of them are Chinese… it’s easier to communicate with them’. He also said that he usually targeted ‘primary school boys because it’s easier to get trust from them.’”
While I don’t think it is for us to judge Chan because we don’t have full info, and he may be suffering from psychological issues, what I’ll have issues with is our society and support system here that allows criminal behaviour to go undetected for 15 years.
Because I can no longer talk to teen girls directly. Today I read this “For these reasons stated, we (MOE) will not be able to use AWARE until they have gained the public’s trust for their sexuality programmes.”
http://www.moe.gov.sg/media/speeches/2009/05/21/remarks-by-dr-ng-eng-hen-on-se.php
And I know how much that CSE class would have benefited me 10 years ago, if I had access to an external third-party who made it comfortable for me to tell my story, and whom I knew would have found a way to help us.
Because AWARE’s platform might not be available for now, but because I believe there are so many important messages that needs to get out to the teens, I have decided I will use my blog as the platform instead.
I will tell you more in my subsequent posts
I have heard so many stories in all these classes. Stories I believe all parents and society should know about. I don’t have the time to write everything tonight, but I do ask that you come back to read, because I will tell you what reality is like in my subsequent blog posts, what advice I give, and you can decide for yourselves what you want to do.
I ask that you don’t Shut Up and Sit Down, but please stand up for what you believe in, and spread the message.
I invite you to give your opinion
I’ll also like your opinion on my story — What we could have done? What can I do now? How can we prevent these things from happening? What should schools do? Teachers do? Parents do? Students do?
And if by fate and chance, you happen to be part of my story too, or have a story to tell, I would be honoured if you shared it with us in the comments, anonymously if you need to be, or privately : mathialee@yahoo.com .
The HIV-gay link: When Science makes that link
Is prejudice, discrimination or even religious belief really groundless, baseless and without scientific support? What happens when prejudice stems from a scientific observation?
Homosexual-bashers often claim that “AIDS is a gay disease.”
People standing up against anti-gay discrimination, however, claim that the “AIDS is a gay disease” statement is a statement of prejudice, not fact.
‘Stick to scientific facts!’ Both sides claim in equally loud voices, each side dragging up their favourite scientific experiments. Reminds me of the way Charlotte Wong cited an Utah research paper showing how abstinence-only programmes were most beneficial.
The link between Homosexuality and AIDs was apparently made very early on, by scientists.
“Serum samples from 88 percent of patients with AIDS andfrom 79 percent of homosexual men with signs and symptoms that frequently precede AIDS, but from less than 1 percent of heterosexual subjects, have antibodies reactive against antigens of HTLV-III.”
(HTLV-III was a name of the Human Immunodeficiency Virus, or HIV, before scientists agreed to standardize the use of “HIV” as the name of the virus that causes AIDS, the diseases characterized by a particular group of signs and symptoms) (isolation_of_HIV_nobel_winner.pdf)
That sentence came from the Abstract of one of the earliest scientific studies that described the link between the causative virus and AIDS.
Today, we read that paper with the benefit of hindsight. I am reading it through colored lens after 25 years, of someone who campaigns against the discrimination of homosexuals and HIV affected persons.
Invitation to you, the Reader, to comment
I wish to invite you, my readers, to read this paper, and to comment. What did you think? How did you feel? About the authors? About HIV? About Science? Or anything else?
I don’t want to say too much and color your opinion. I want to hear your views.
When you comment, do say where you are coming from eg. What’s your area of expertise? What was your original position on HIV/AIDS, homosexuality, religion etc etc
The reason I’m asking you to state where you’re coming from is that, often, our background , knowledge and culture influences the way we interpret things that we read, and it will be very helpful to understand how your reading and your position influence each other.
Background:
“On May 4, 1984, Dr. Robert Gallo, currently the director of the Institute of Human Virology at the University of Maryland School of Medicine, and his collaborators published a series of four remarkable papers in the journal Science, which demonstrated convincingly that a retrovirus they and others had isolated, called HTLV-III, was the cause if a new and deadly epidemic that was just beginning to sweep across the nation and the world : acquired immunodeficiency syndrome, or AIDs…. The four original papers of Gallo and his colleagues have been reprinted in this special Science booklet commemorating the 25th anniversary of their landmark discovery”
- E. Albert Reece, “From Cause to Care – Commemorating 25 Years of HIV/AIDS Research”
- (HTLV-III was a name of the Human Immunodeficiency Virus, or HIV, before scientists agreed to standardize the use of “HIV” as the name of the virus that causes AIDS, the diseases characterized by a particular group of signs and symptoms)
If you don’t have access to Science, but wish to read these articles, feel free to email me for them.
I’m only putting up the 4th one because that’s the one which mentions homosexuality. The other 3 are quite technical (HIV_homosexuality.pdf)
Robert Gallo was one of those who were considered, but not awarded, the Nobel prize for the discovery of HIV
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=95442769
The paper that won the Nobel prize is here: (isolation_of_HIV_nobel_winner.pdf)
——————————————————————–
Excerpts:
The results are presented in Table 1. Of
49 clinically diagnosed AIDS patients, 43
(88 percent) showed serum reactivity in
this assay. Two of the subjects whose
serum reacted positively with the HTLV
preparation had developed AIDS after
receiving blood transfusions, one in Haiti
and the other in Aruba. Of 14 homosexual
men with pre-AIDS, 11 (79 percent)
were positive. Of 17 homosexual
men with no clinical symptoms of AIDS,
seven were positive. At least one of
these was known to be a long-time sexual
partner of a patient with clinically
diagnosed AIDS. Another had persistent
fatigue and possibly other early symptoms
of AIDS. Because these 17 men
had been seeking medical assistance,
they are not a representative sample of
the homosexual population, and the high
incidence of HTLV-III-specific antibodies
in their sera may not reflect the true
incidence in the homosexual population.
One of the three intravenous drug abusers
that were positive for serum antibodies
to HTLV-III was also a homosexual.
Serum samples from only one’of 186
control subjects reacted positively in this
test. These control subjects included
three with hepatitis B virus infection,
one with rheumatoid arthritis, six with
systemic lupus erythematosus, four with
acute mononucleosis, and eight with various
forms of lymphatic leukemias and
lymphomas, some of whom were positive
for HTLV-I. The rest were normal
donors of unknown sexual preference
including laboratory workers ranging in
age from 22 to 50
Among the antibody-positive
cases reported here a few are of particular
importance with respect to the transmission
of the disease. For example, the
mother of the baby with AIDS was positive
for HTLV-III as was a long-term
sexual partner of a homosexual with
AIDS. Recipients of blood products originating
from individuals at risk for AIDS
were also positive for HTLV-III and, as
described in an accompanying report
(31), the virus has been isolated from
several children with AIDS as well as
from their mothers. The data presented
here and in the accompanying reports
(30-32) suggest that HTLV-III is the
primary cause of AIDS.
Inconsistency in the Religious/Secular divide
To what extent should religious values be reflected in secular public policy? I’m not making a stand here, but wondering out loud.
”If in fact it is true, and I have asked doctors this, that you are genetically born a homosexual — because that’s the nature of the genetic random transmission of genes — you can’t help it. So why should we criminalize it?” MM Lee’s own words in 2007.
The conservative family values has often been cited as the reason why.
Yet we see an inconsistency.
Abortion is immoral under most Christian interpretations, as well as Muslim / Jewish interpretations.
I’m not as familiar with other religious, but I suspect religious which promote vegetarianism, mercy, not taking the lives of even animals, would not exactly be supportive of abortion.
Yet we have one of the most lax abortion policies here — something I applaud, because banning abortions has always led to the dangerous practice of clandestine abortions.
Human embryonic stem cell research is also deemed immoral by some Christian interpretations — yet we actively pursue such research in Singapore.
Gambling and casinos are frowned upon by most “conservative value” champions, but we’re building 2.
So what is the justification for criminalizing homosexuality? And only MALE homosexuality, but not female homosexuality???
Is is justified to base such policy on the “majority’s views”?
If it were, the genocide of the Jews in Nazi Germany would be justified.
In a local context, the anti-racism laws were put in place at a time where there was a lot of racial tension here, and many people held racist views. The government response was not to say
“Our society will not reach consensus on this issue for a very long time to come. The way for ABC-race to have space in our society is to accept the informal limits which reflect the point of balance that our society can accept, and not to assert themselves stridently as ABC-race groups do in the West.”
The government took a strong stand at that point in time to condemn racism , and put into the pledge “regardless of race, language or religion”
The homophobic / anti-discrimination groups are divided according to the same divides Singapore had during the race riots. Why should the response be any different?
The only difference, to me, was that the race riots were significantly more violent — does society change only in response to violence? That would be very sad indeed, because I want to believe that dialogue, not violence, is the way to go to assert your fundamental rights.
Protest against the hypocritical words of the Bishop of the Anglican Church in Singapore
“Questionable takeover but crucial service” says the Bishop of the Anglican Church in Singapore “An alarm has been sounded on the promotion of revisionist sexuality norm”
( http://news.asiaone.com/News/the+Straits+Times/Story/A1Story20090515-141553.html )
Sounds like the Bishop is saying that questionable methods can be justified based on their ends. And that speaking up against prejudice & discrimination is a “promotion of revisionist sexuality norm”.
I’m glad my God — in the person of Jesus Christ — made a career out of speaking against the religious leaders of his day. He never flinched from being their public enemy No. 1, even until death.
I’m glad that JC preferred hanging out with the unfairly marginalised — those terminally ill with infectious diseases ( equivalent of the HIV affected), the Samaritans ( equivalent of the marginalised/discriminated ethnic groups), the prostitutes & thieves ( which incidentally is the group that the RIGHTEOUS people of society have put homosexuals in)
I’m glad that my God never made in a requirement for his faithful to agree with the religious leaders.
By the way, just some words that JC had for the religious leaders of his day (the Pharisees were the name of such a group):
They tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them (Matt 23: 4)
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are.
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
(Matt 23 : 13 – 15, 23 – 28)
Singapore’s Invisible Abused Women
- Out of 3 pregnancies, 2 babies are born, 1 is aborted
- ¾ of women aborting babies are MARRIED — 1/3 are homemakers
- ½ of 10,000 STI cases per year – patients are between 20 – 30yrs, 1/3 – between 30-40yrs old, 5% amongst teens
- PAVe found in 2003 that out of 2,200 secondary and junior college students polled, 15 to 30 per cent had encountered family or dating violence.
Alot of women actually know if their husbands are fooling around outside and know if they are at risk for STIs (sexually transmitted infections). Doing something about it is something else altogether.
rape
I wrote this a while back in response to a feminist-bashing piece which claimed that women were irrationally angry about rape, irrationally demanding for unjustifiable severe punishments for rape. http://evilatheist.blogspot.com/2006/08/rape.html
How I’ll advice a teen who “confesses” issues with sexuality
“How would you have answered if a, say, 13 year old girl asked you whether the homosexual feelings she was experiencing towards her classmate were normal, and how she was supposed to cope with such feelings?”
That was a question posed to me in one of the comments (Thanks Marcus) that I feel is very valid, and very important to address , so I’ve decided to post it up on it’s own.
My response to Marcus’s comment was:
Our advice for ANY personal problems that a particular student might bring up, whether with regards to homosexuality or anything else, is this —- Please talk to someone who can give you good advice. We usually suggest the school counsellor, or else a hotline like SOS or AWARE’s hotline where they can refer the girl to a private counsellor as they deem fit.
It is actually very dangerous to dish out personal advice.
General advice given out to the whole class is one thing — it’s like the general nutritional advice you give people : eat more vegetables, fibre prevents constipation.
Specific, personal advice is completely different. If someone came up to you and said, “I have constipation, what should I do? Eat more vegetables? ”
It would be very dangerous and irresponsible to actually advise this person to simply “eat more vegetables”
Because, on a personal level, his constipation may be due to so many reasons, and the lack of vegetables may have nothing to with it — he might have some serious medical condition!
The only responsible advice to give to this person is “Please go see a doctor soon”In the same way, when a 13-year old girl comes up to you with a simple question like what you are posing, it is very dangerous to dish out simplistic advice because you have NO idea what’s the history and context. It is very important for a qualified counsellor to address her concerns in detail, and with absolute confidentiality. As a trainer, who cannot go into such detailed counselling because we’re not supposed to, and have no time to, the only advice is “Go talk to a trusted counsellor (not just your friends) as soon as possible”
And I hope that everyone reading this will also bear this is mind when a friend or a child or teen approaches you with such questions — whether it’s because you are a teacher, a religious leader, or even a parent. I know it causes some discomfort when I include parents in this list. But the fact is, children often want to meet up to parental expectations, and in this desire to, they will hide the key and most important facts from parents, in order to retain their approval. I would suggest parents bear this in mind, and allow their children to speak with a professional, trusted counsellor, in private.
Marcus, thanks for raising this. In fact, because it is very common and very important, I am putting this up as a post by itself.
Singapore’s judgemental? Discriminatory against the marginalised ?– NO WAY!
The Leaders of North Korea and Myanmar have been judged by many countries and peoples in the world to be gross abusers of human rights, illegitimate governments and are even labelled by some as being part of the new “Axis of Evil”
Singapore, however, is all for being inclusive and non-judgemental — we believe no matter how bad your track record is, we should not give in to peer pressure, but instead, reach out to you to make you our good friend. Unconditional friendship — that’s what we stand for. We’ve certainly heeded Obama’s advice and outdone him = )
North Korean President Kim on 3-day working visit to Singapore
Posted: 06 May 2009 1947 hrs http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/427363/1/.html
SINGAPORE: North Korean President Kim Yong Nam is on a working visit to Singapore from May 6 to 8.
According to a statement from Singapore’s Foreign Affairs Ministry, this is his second visit to Singapore in his capacity as the President of the Presidium of the Supreme People’s Assembly.
Mr Kim last visited Singapore in August 2007.
While in Singapore, Mr Kim will call on President S R Nathan, who will host him to dinner. -CNA/vm
Myanmar PM calls on Singapore’s Acting President J Y Pillay
Posted: 18 March 2009 2108 hrs http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/416175/1/.html
SINGAPORE: The Prime Minister of Myanmar, General Thein Sein called on Singapore’s Acting President J Y Pillay at the Istana on Wednesday.
They reaffirmed the warm bilateral relations between the two countries, which are underpinned by exchanges of high-level visits.
Prime Minister Thein Sein who is on a two-day official visit to Singapore, also briefed the Acting President on political and economic developments in Myanmar.
General Thein Sein also had an orchid named after him. The Dendrobium Thein Sein is a hybrid made from two other species, the Dendrobium Pan Shou and the Dendrobium Rita Leicester.
The Dendrobium Pan Shou is an orchid named after Singapore’s classical poet and calligrapher and the Dendrobium Rita Leicester was named after the wife of a local orchid breeder.
At a dinner hosted for the Myanmar leader on Tuesday, Singapore Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong urged Myanmar to move towards national reconciliation. He said Singapore also hopes to see Myanmar prosper. – CNA/
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