Choosing my race

That mix race thing has a precedent. Long before (or at least long in the short Sg historical context) we had to scratch our head to decide what race we were, many of us were already scratching our heads deciding what dialect group we were.
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Dialect groups are not a uniquely Sg concept, but I think our concept of Dialect groups (at least for the Chinese) are quite uniquely Sg.

All my life, I’ve been asked the question “What dialect group are you?”  And since I begun learning to speak at 2yrs old, I’ve been taught to answer “I am Teochew”.
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Then in 2005, I went on a holiday to China, to my ancestral city of Teochew. I had never been to Teochew in my life. On my dad’s side, I’m the 6^th generation immigrant (their wives all Nonya) and on my mom’s side, I’m the 4^th generation immigrant (their wives all Teochew too). We’ve lost contact with relatives from both sides for a couple of generations already, so this Teochew trip was really a holiday trip for me.
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From our first stop in Hongkong, we took a train into ShenZhen (the Mainland Chinese city across HongKong), and from there a bus to the city of Teochew.  The bus station at ShenZhen was absolutely chaotic. We overheard a young couple asking for the bus to Teochew and we latched on to them. They were really nice.

After 6 hours on the bus, the couple approached us and the guy spoke to me, in Mandarin,

Him   “you’re going to Teochew right?”

Me   “yes, are we reaching Teochew already?”

Him  “we have to get off at the next stop”

Me   “oh, you’re going to Teochew too?”

Him (giving me a ‘duh!!!’ look)   “I am Teochew. And you?”
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At that moment, I was just stunned.

What was I supposed to say? That was my line.

All my life, I’ve been saying that very line “I am Teochew” in reply to questions like this.

Yet at that moment, in the city of Teochew,  I couldn’t say “I am Teochew” anymore.

In Teochew (or anywhere else in China, apparently!), in that bus, “I am Teochew” suddenly meant “I am a Chinese National living in the city of Teochew” , which I clearly wasn’t!

What could I say? “I am East Coast GRC?”!?!?

Well, after that moment of stunned silence, I replied   “I am from Singapore”

“Ah! Singaporean!” he nodded.

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I had and have never felt more Singaporean before in my life.
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Race, is quite an interesting concept. I dare say that geneticists are arguably the most “racist” of all people — the strain and family background of every single mouse in our lab is meticulously recorded = )In humans, it’s nice also to know your racial make up, because a lot of our biology and health status are influenced by our genes (very arguably).
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However, I still don’t understand, to this day, why I have to state my dialect group, race and religion to apply for that data entry job!

It’s an indication of my language skills? Well, 1) the data entry was 100% English.   And 2) Even if Chinese language skills are needed, my dialect group, race and religion are the lousiest indications of my ability to use Chinese. I’m functionally illiterate, and I know at least one Malay, one Indian, one Eurasian, one Ang Mo who is more functionally Chinese literate than me.
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And I really don’t get the idea of bonding along racial lines too —- that “sharing food with only my Chinese neighbour but not my Malay neighbour during a famine” concept.

Just the other day, my Indian friend was telling me how the Indians from India looked down on our local Indians here. In return, I was telling him that he was lucky he didn’t understand Mandarin, or else he’ll be even more pissed hearing the Chinese Nationals commenting that Singaporean food was really bad and we didn’t know how to cook and live here. I kid you not, I’ve been told in my face that the noodles we use here are “peasant quality noodles they wouldn’t use in China anymore” and that “curry looks like swill”. So I definitely think that my Indian friend will appreciate bonding and sharing food with me more.
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To a geneticist, the idea that one can *choose* one’s race is laughable. ( As it is, the geneticists are already laughing at how Singaporeans *choose* not to be homosexual because it’s illegal and morally wrong).

I’ve a friend from India, and his race on his new pink IC is “Aryan”, though he speaks Tamil. And if an Indian born in Singapore is listed as an “Indian” of the “Tamil” dialect group, then what racial group is a Pakistani with a new pink IC? Indian? Say that and you might be bashed. How about the Vietnamese? Go far back enough in their history, and they are Chinese. A Xinjiang immigrant who is less genetically Chinese than the Vietnamese, is listed as “Chinese” instead.

Have I confused you? Yes? My point made.
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I have an idea.

If I ever had a kid, I’m going to register him/her as :

Race : Human

Dialect group : Uniquely Singaporean.

Can choose mah, right?

 ; )