Gay is NOT = Paedophile

My dad is, in general, someone who believes in equality for all races, religions and sexual orientations.

Yet the other day, I overheard him  telling my brother to be careful cos there are all kinds of people these days ……. These gay men in all the catholic churches , all  the gay priests.

.

It seems like these days, secularists blame the Catholic Church, religious faithful blame gay people (And yes, I realise i’ve just committed the same crime of generalisation and hence have turned secularists, faithful and gay people against me with a single sentence! so i should qualify and say that it’s the media that seems to portray that. Hmmm have I made an enemy out of the media people too???shucks.)

.

At the end of the day, this is  a matter of respecting people’s freedom to believe in whatever they choose, and to love whoever they want; it is about protecting people from being abused, about bringing justice to those who have violated others while not unjustly categorising the innocent together with the guilty. All at once.

.

The guilt of the abusers do not lie with the Catholic Church & followers, neither does it lie with gay people.

The guilt lies with

- the individual people who abused the trust of the Church, the followers, and the children

- the individual people who turned a blind eye to justice and covered up the crimes

.

Just as there are heterosexual abusers and heterosexual good people, there are also homosexual abusers and homosexual good people. Within any institution or setting or organisation, we need to ask if the loopholes allow easy exploitation by either heterosexual or homosexual abusers (ie. individual people seeking opportunities to abuse victims)

.

We also need to recognise the RESPONSIBILITY that ALSO lies with

- the government and law enforcement officers, whose job is to protect the citizens of all race, religion, age, etc, rather than to protect the image and sanctity of institutions

- the citizens, whose responsibility it is to call governments and institutions to question and checks

- the families, whose responsibility it is to believe in and protect their children, rather than seemingly incorruptible institutions of any kind.

.

This means that everyone of us is responsible for ensuring such abuses do not happen in our local institutions.

Responsibility belongs to all.

But guilt, belongs only to the guilty.

.

In many of these countries eg. Ireland, the government and people’s preference to protect the image of the Church had resulted in the delays and obstruction of justice for decades. The disbelieve on the part of parents made victims of their own children over and over again.

What we can learn from the Catholic Scandal

The news leaked out today that the Catholic Church has been covering up widespread embezzlement of tithes & donations for years in Singapore.

.

Now, THAT caught your attention didn’t it. ; )

Before I get sued for defamation, let me say explicitly that my sentence above about the Catholic Church here is NOT true — there was no such news leaking out.

What I did hope to do, was to make a point: When it comes to financial crimes, people are MUCH more rational than when it comes to sexual crimes. http://www.todayonline.com/Print/Hotnews/EDC100424-0000048/Doubt,-dismay,-denial-and-disappointment

.

A Just Response is needed

Over the last few years, Singapore has been rocked by 2 major financial scandals in the charity sector. In the first, we saw the downfall of TT Durai and the transformation of NKF. In the second, we saw the downfall of Ming Yi the Monk and the transformation of Renci. Additionally, we saw the government introducing stricter laws and regulations to govern the charity sector – a move that many, including myself, applauded as long overdue.

.

What were the reactions of the public and the supporters when these scandals broke?

Did any donor say that people were just trying to attack and bring down kidney foundations? Did any donor say that anti-Buddhists were trying to bring down Buddhism in Singapore? Of course not! The suggestion sounds incredibly silly to even mention!

Everyone recognized the goodness of having kidney foundations. Everyone recognized the goodness of the Buddhist faith. Everyone recognized the goodness of hospitals, including Renci hospital.

But everyone also recognized that TT Durai and Ming Yi were human, had committed financial crimes, and had to be punished accordingly to fair laws, whether or not followers wanted to forgive them later.

.

A parallel can be drawn with the scandal that is rocking the Catholic Church now, and through this parallel with NKF and Renci, we can see how simple the solution actually is.

Many people recognize the concept and ideals of the Catholic Church are good. Many people also recognize the Catholic Church has made much positive contribution.

Yet everyone also recognizes that priests are human, and humans fail from time to time. The mistakes made by Catholic priests have been recognize eg. The corruption that led to Martin Luther’s Reformation and also during the Crusades.

.

For non-Catholics to attack Catholicism for the mistakes of these abusive priests, and priests who covered up the abuse, would be akin to attacking Buddhism for Ming Yi’s failings. For Catholics to perceive the charges and actions against these criminal priests as attacks against the Catholic Church, would be akin to Buddhists perceiving Ming Yi’s conviction as an attack against Buddhism.

When the NKF scandal broke, hundreds of donors immediately called to cancel their donations. Was it because they were against kidney foundations or charities? No! They simply did not want their money supporting corruption. In the same way, if Catholics stopped donating to Church from tomorrow, it won’t be an indication of disrespect to the Church, but simply not wanting to contribute to an administration who covers up abuse rather than seeks justice.

.

In actual fact, these priests — both the abusers, and those who covered up the crimes — are simply humans who have committed crimes within an organization and deserved to be punished according to the laws of the land, like any other abuser. Structural and systematic checks have to be put in place in institutions to ensure institutionalized abuse and cover ups never happen again.

.

I have an Irish friend. Here is his response to the article http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8060442.stm
‘Victims of child abuse at Catholic institutions in the Irish Republic have expressed anger that a damning report will not bring about prosecutions.’

He says “I actually started the get upset and cried a little this morning as I heard about the report, which was released yesterday, on this morning’s news. I’m going to buy a copy of the report and read it from cover to cover

I’m so angry that what I feel is that. If, after that report, 800 people who caused this abuse are being given protection of anonimity and immunity….then we should seek them out and give them our own justice….but these are old men and women (terms i use very loosely) are so old now…..that we would be abusers ourselves
One thing you have to appreciate to understand what happened is this. If a young person in Ireland during this time was discovered to be gay or overly interested in sexuality they were put into the priesthood ‘to cure them’. This on top of the sexual repression of the time and indeed the fact that a person who wants to bully-abuse people will seek out these kind of positions of responsibility…this is all astonishing

What makes me really really angry is that kids told priests in confession about this and were called liars! Kids told parents who told them they were liars…you don’t question the church! And because so many people supported the church, our government felt it couldn’t take on the church and instead let these kids be abused…tens of thosands of them”

.
I’ve rarely been this angry or upset in my life

indeed…..i know some of the people involved in prosecuting this case…..

it was estimated that there were something like 500 child rapists/priests in the Dublin area alone, and that throughout Ireland a conservative estimate that at least 150,000 children had been assaulted.  I0,000 of these have been “paid off”, at a cost of $1.5 billion…..imagine how much it would cost if all were compensated…….

and this is just ireland………..”

.

I hope everyone does also realise that if the Church is made to compensate, where the compensation money comes from —- from the lay Catholic followers who have been tithing faithfully, and whose family members may have been victim to the abusers………

.

.

The lesson we must learn : Preventing similar abuse in institutions in Singapore

Seeing this scandal as an issue with the Catholic Church as opposed to criminals within the Catholic Church organisation also misses the point in another way. In fact this may be even more dangerous because it blinds us to the lesson we ought to learn.

.

Have we looked at the Catholic Church, asked how this could happen on such a wide scale for decades, and go unchecked? Have we asked if the same organisational weaknesses are present in our temples, our Buddhist, Taoist monasteries? Our military? Our boarding schools? Etc etc? If the same weaknesses are present, do we then ask if there really has been no abuse, or if we are simply doing what the Catholic Church has been doing for decades —- turning a blind eye? The moment we see it as a Catholic Church problem, we stop looking beyond there, and we miss opportunities to check the problem that may be also occurring in non-Catholic organisations.

.

I know that many people simply cannot buy the idea that Catholic Priests are such evil people, who need laws and checks and regulations to keep them from molesting kids. I think an excellent book written by Anna Salter provides great insight and explains the fallacy of this thinking very well.  Anna Salter is a psychologist who interviewed many victims and perpetrators of sexual crimes. She wrote the excellent book ‘Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, And Other Sex Offenders’  ( http://www.amazon.com/Predators-Pedophiles-Rapists-Other-Offenders/dp/0465071732 )

based on these interviews.

The main point made in this book:

People need to stop asking the question “How could good church people be abusers?!?!”
People need to start asking the question “What is the best platform for an abuser to make use of?”

The starting question cannot be “What are priests/monks like? Are they likely to commit such crimes?” because the answer is No. And that leads to self-denial / defensiveness.
The starting question always has to be, “What would be the best target/platform/opportunity for a criminal to make use of? Where is security the most lax?”

Then you realise that a swindler of money would be clamouring to start charities in countries where lax laws govern the finances of charities.

Then you start realising that child molesters are clamouring to be priests in systems that cover up their crimes. In schools that have no safeguard mechanism.

.
You know what’s the scary thing?

When you start asking those kinds of questions, you know that such abuse/crimes are taking place all over the world, in environments where we most trust our kids to be.

.

The USA, Ireland, Germany etc has done very well to acknowledge it happens, and take steps, even though i believe it is far from enough/ideal.

What scares me are the environments, all over the world, where people claim/believe that no/little abuse is taking place. Because it doesn’t mean no abuse takes place, it means nobody is even doing anything to look.

It’s happening all the world over, Asia, Europe, etc etc and i think Europe/US is already ahead in doing something about it. I think we need to learn from this experience.

Good without god?

you know how i constantly think about questions like
“what if god didn’t exist?” ? (if you didn’t, yes i’m one of those strange people…. )

.

i usually wonder if god didn’t exist, then is there anything worthy or meaningful to do, because how can it be meaningful to live for the good of protein molecules right? The belief that humans are more than just protein molecules is, to me, a religious belief in the divine

.

i just got back from a talk on Human trafficking and public health

the girl presenting it didn’t really talk about the health bit tho’ , just lots on human trafficking

but it struck me as i was listening to her:

.

if god (general god, not necessarily a particular religion) really didn’t exist , then WE are all that these people (eg the trafficked people) have. There’s no god, no one else to help them already.

.

which makes the need and situation all the more desperate

.

and in the same vein, my friends are all i have. there’s no one else. which makes them all the more precious.

.

there’s this song i really like, and i think it’s a genuine theological question that should be discussed and address in college or in some sermon

What if god was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome

.

.

(am not advocating a belief in any of the above. These are just rambling products of the pensive mood i’ve been in since submiting that thesis. It almost feels like a break up. I think i’m going to buy the book Good Without God this evening)

AIDS and Al-Jazeera?

http://www.todayonline.com/Singapore/EDC100407-0000079/mio-TV-drops-Al-Jazeera

Mio Drops Al-Jazeera

I received a comment that I thought I should highlight in a post of its own.

Not sure if you have seen this documentary on the poor treatment of AIDS sufferers in Singapore by Al Jeezera:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYAaxoRISfM

One activist Stuart Koe went on to say that things are done underground, AIDS patients get their medicine through ‘buyers club’ and people work as ‘mules’ to bring the drugs in from developing countries.

Al Jeezera has been dropped by SingTel’s Mio so Singaporeans will not get to watch their reports anymore on TV.

The documentary was broadcasted on either 3 April or 4 April 2010….Al Jazeera was dropped by SingTel on 1 April so most Singaporeans did not get to see it.

Al Jazeera had previously made documentaries about poverty in Singapore and rampant prostitution & streetwalkers in Geylang.

(I haven’t verified the fact; if anyone would like to correct any factual errors, I’ll appreciate if you leave a comment doing so. Thanks!)

Wisdom of Whores – Elisabeth Pisani

Elizabeth Pisani is an expert working on HIV prevention. Much of her work was done in our neighbouring country Indonesia, which lots of our local men visit.

This is an excellent TedTalk she gave, if you haven’t caught it yet

http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_pisani_sex_drugs_and_hiv_let_s_get_rational_1.html

and this is an excellent book she wrote, called “Wisdom of Whores”. Much of it is set in Indonesia.

http://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Whores-Bureaucrats-Brothels-Business/dp/0393337650/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1271255397&sr=8-1

Aftermath of an experimental un-evangelical Christian conversation

The truth is, only one person turned up.

I’ve been trying to figure out why. Because that in itself would be an interesting lesson to learn.

Someone suggested that I didn’t do sufficient marketing?

Because people who evangelise are often criticized for imposing or being downright irritating, I had made it a point to NOT mention this event at all. All I did, was literally put up the blog post and put its link on my FB. I booked the venue. I turned up. Nothing more than that. No personal emails or phone calls. When I met my friends throughout the week, I didn’t mention it. If they did,  I said the minimum to not be rude. I had a few emails saying that would come. I didn’t reply any to make them feel obliged if they changed their mind.

The only person who turned up was a personal friend who happened to ask me the day before what I was gonna do for the weekend. I’m glad he turned up. We had a good (IMO) conversation about life, death and systems control.

.

It’s a bit disappointing, yet at the same time it’s interesting to speculate what’s going on.

.

Perhaps the reason why we see so many evangelists around is simply due to natural selection —- groups that don’t evangelize die within their first couple of meetings? The evangelists survive to propagate?

.

Or perhaps everyone was adopting a wait-and-see-how-it-went attitude?
Which may explain why it takes so long to get the social change we want, even when everyone seems to agree?

.

Of course it could be just poor timing, poor location, …… hmmm. Should we try again and get a better location or timing this time? What would be best?

.
I would be tempted to think that no one was interested, except that I did get quite a few emails/messages/people telling me they were interested? Strange.

.

What could it be?

.

Or maybe the reason is just very simple and personal : maybe it’s just me. It’s simply me people don’t want to hang out with and nothing to do with anything else? Possible. And that’s fine.

What about maybe there’s already another such group / church that everyone’s going for?

Would somebody care to tell me where?

.

.

I suppose what I’m really looking for is this

A chance to explore fundamental questions like

-          What does it mean to be a Christian

-          What’s a church

-          Who can be considered a believer

-          What’s our role in secular society

-          Is the Bible a cultural product

-          Is it more important to fill stomachs or save souls? Are we obliged to do anything? Etc

.

For the longest time, it seemed like only theologians or pastors or priests had the right to give answers to such questions. They then imposed the answers on their congregations and parishes, and that became a source of so much conflict and guilt. Conflict when people fight over whose pastors had the right answers. Guilt when one didn’t quite agree and felt sub-christian.

.

It would be wonderful to have a space where all sorts of people — theologian and layman, male and female, skeptics and stoics —- come together. Each shares what he or she knows and thinks. Everyone listens to each other. You don’t get 1 sermon. You get 100 sermons. And you’re obliged to believe none. Or all if you so choose.

The onus is then on you, the individual, to go away thinking about it, if you so choose to. It’s up to you, the individual, to consider all these 100 views, and come to something within yourself, that you can believe in, out of your own free personal choice. Without human-imposed guilt.

.

That’s what I’m hoping to find. If anyone knows of such a space, do tell. And if there is none …… perhaps we could create one?

.

A good friend who decided to never step into a church again since 17 years ago, told me yesterday  ‘I bet you only one person went to Jesus’s first sermon. Probably someone who wanted to get into his pants. I can just see mary magdelene sitting there alone fawning over his sermon. Did he stop? No he didn’t.’  It made me smile. It’s especially touching because this person is still holding me to my promise to ensure his parents doesn’t give him a church funeral if he should  die before them and me.

.

So.

I think I’ll try again.

This Saturday 17^th April. 10.30am.

At the Boat Quay MacDonalds, 2^nd floor (the one just besides the Raffles Place MRT entrance, near to Harry’s )

The 2^nd floor is usually quite empty at that hour and I don’t exactly think 100 people would come?

If more than 10 people turn up, we can split into 2 groups and perhaps do something like a World Café format discussion?

.

I’m definitely going to be there! =D
(to help you recognize me, I’m gonna wear my pink Obama T-shirt & furry hat. The chance of someone else with exactly that outfit seems a bit low, yah?)

.

Hope to see you!
(Don’t need to RSVP, just come if you feel like)

California earthquake

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100405/ap_on_re_us/us_baja_earthquake

it’s amazing how technology has enabled things to go on so normally with such a large earthquake
the whole report is about things that did NOT go wrong
which is quite beautiful

and at the same time quite sad that in so many other countries, hundreds of thousands had died needlessly because they had no access to such technology that could have saved them in an earthquake

reading this sort of thing just makes me feel quite at ease with the whole climate crisis stuff………… if it’s a problem with nature, it’s just a matter of time before human technology fixes it

stuff like wars, poverty, exploitation etc on the other hand, are human caused, and from the looks of it, will probably never ever be solved……..