On the Importance of Marriage

I was relooking at some of the pro & anti gay marriage arguments today, in light of obama’s statements. ( http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20026456-503544.html ) Am quite surprised to see what i see as one of the most key reasons, missing in much of the debates.

In the past i often viewed marriage as symbolic, especially in today’s day and age where both parties are quite financially n socially independent, for most couples.

Then, very recently, when my partner was telling me about being posted overseas, it struck me how important a legally recognised marriage was

If i followed, i’d be consciously setting back my career and hence earning power.

If i followed without being married, and my partner was unfaithful or dumped me or anything, there’ll be no recourse for me, the way married wives have

That’s assuming i can even follow her at all, because there’s no such thing as a dependant pass for non-spouses in that Asian country so i’ll have to be able to find work there independantly, or she has to be financially able to support me.

We’re lucky that we’re in the position to do either. But there would be so many people for whom this option is not available, because they don’t meet certain educational qualifications internationally-mobile jobs look for. Even for us, we are keenly aware of how privileged we are that she has a job that enables her to get a PR  here instead of a Work Permit, or else we would either have to break up at the end of her contract or I would have to take a huge pay cut working in a neighbouring country.

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Traditionally, fathers made sure daughters were properly married, precisely so that the other party could not “take advantage” of their daughters. 30 years ago, when my Dad(or rather, future-Dad, at that point) told his girlfriend(now my Mom) that he’d been posted to Jakarta to work, and asked if she would go along with him. My mom replied that if he wanted her to follow him, he’ll have to marry her first. He promptly took her to ROM of course. Today, i don’t have that option, because i’m of the wrong gender, apparently.

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It seems like the legal enforcement of marriage responsibilities kinda got lost, in all these talk of gender equality. But the fact remains that romantic relationships are not like business relationships — many relationships simply are not made up of financial/social equals. Sure, marriage facilitates the joint-ownership of HDB flats, getting Baby Bonuses, getting insurance benefits, getting to see your partner in ICU after an accident. Yet, in a strange, ironic sense, what really necessitates marriage as a legal institution, for both gay & straight couples is not the legal convenience it provides during marriage, but the protection it provides at the end.

We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals

I reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals

I reject as false the choice between our rationality and our religion

I reject as false the choice between our career and our family

I reject as false the choice between our health and our wealth

I reject as false the choice between exploitation and prosperity

I reject as false the choice between being straight and being gay

I reject as false the choice between being sexy and being smart

I reject as false the choice between war and freedom

I reject as false the choice between being a gaurd and a prisoner

I reject as false the choice between community and individuality

 

I reject as false the choice between being sexy and being smart

President Barack Obama

we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals

Can someone put that line into our constituition and every constituition of the world?

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Tonight was really unforgettable.

The experience of watching history , on a common TV set as someone halfway across the world, 12 hours away, whom i’ve never met but have spoken too, and with millions of other such people — it is amazing.

This is the best of times, the worst of times.

I’m watching in anticipation.

Excited anticipation.

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To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect.

To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society’s ills on the West: Know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy.

To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds.

And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world’s resources without regard to effect.

For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

Are we listening???!?!?

Obama for president

I won’t pretend to be an American politics expert here, but I’ll join the rest of the world in giving my 2-cents worth about why I’d like to see Obama become president, and I’ll list my reasons in descending order of importance.

Firstly, he’s got a lot of empathy for the underdog. After his law degree, and with his intelligence, he could have been a hot-shot money making lawyer, but instead, he chose to be a community worker. It makes me believe that he wants to be president, to so much for his own power and glory, but because it is a great platform to make a difference in the lives of others. It makes me believe he actually cares for others. Just to quote from a website that I came across:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23276453/    What Obama’s Senate votes reveal:

 
 

The cliché heard during Senate battles over Supreme Court nominees is that there is no other vote, excluding the decision to go to war, that has more profound consequences.

There’s truth to this cliché.

Chief Justice John Roberts, 53, and Justice Samuel Alito, 57, both of whom Obama voted against, are likely to serve for another 25 years and Obama only for eight, if he’s elected to two terms as president But if elected, Obama may have the opportunity to appoint nominees to replace Justice John Paul Stevens, who will turn 89 this April, and probably other justices as well. Obama said in opposing Roberts, “far more often used his formidable skills on behalf of the strong in opposition to the weak ” Later, Obama criticized Roberts claim that he acted as an “umpire”

“But the issues that come before the court are not sports; they’re life and death,” Obama argued. “We need somebody who’s got the empathy to recognize what it’s like to be a young teenage mom”

 

 

I look forward to a leader who actually makes such votes. I look forward to a president who will work for not the rich, but the disenfranchised masses. A president who will take Proverbs 31: 8, 9 as his motto “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly, defend the rights of the poor and needy”

 

Secondly, I think he has the ability to create unity out of diversity, and he has the ability to motivate and inspire. When he can get people to look pass racial lines, when he can get key republican figures publically endorsing him, I think it demonstrates his abilities. Why is it important for a leader? A leader does not have to be a know-it-all, do-it-all expert. The leader’s role is to be able to get experts of divergent abilities and views sitting down together, working for a greater common good. If a leader can do that, all the best brains and talents would be in his hands and he would be able get things down more than any expert can. That’s power, that’s strength , that’s leadership.

So there you go, you have a leader in Obama who is both good and powerful.

 

Thirdly, he chooses dialogue and diplomacy over wars and ultimatums. I think here is a guy who actually understands that people are not intrinsically evil (there are such people, but it is naïve to believe that entire nations or groups of people are collectively evil in the same way, and yet be sacrificing enough to die for their people and their cause). He understands that when people feel oppressed and denied of justice, they react. Which is why negotiation would be a lot more effective than threats.  And it also says something about the respect he has for human lives. This guy might actually do something for world peace.

Fourthly, one of his priorities he would have as president would be to invest and research into alternative energies. Given that an energy crisis are often the biggest threat to the existence of most biological species, and in the long term, would be the biggest threat to human civilisation as we know it, I think it shows he’s got foresight and intelligence

So there you go. We’ve found a guy who has a heart, a head, good intentions, and the power to bring it about.

 

 

 

God’s Blessed America.

God, Bless the world……. = )